You have to hand it to Democrats — I guess. Since the election, they have been very creative in devising ways to further alienate flyover residents, as if they were not successful enough before the voting.
First, of course, reject the result. Demand recounts of margins larger than have ever been reversed, and do it in three states, all of which must be changed to alter the election’s outcome.
Then go after the Electoral College. Yes, we have another minority president coming up. Lincoln was a minority president. Those are the rules. Everybody understood them going in, and I, for one, am perfectly happy to have a president not elected exclusively by New York and California. Call me crazy.
Re-elect Nancy Pelosi minority leader. She has been so charming and successful for so long that she is clearly indispensable. And she is only 76, with a great future ahead of her. Unleash her daughter to demand a pre-vote security briefing for 538 electors scattered from Maine to Hawaii.
Blame the Russians. They wrecked the election by — umm — what exactly did they do? Nobody seems very sure, except that it was really nasty of them and we have to investigate, as if anything will be known before the inauguration. A great case for paper ballots.
Have the president blame the media. It was so supportive of Trump that he could not possibly lose. It was also duped by the Russians. Somehow.
Have Hillary and John Podesta pile on, too. They can capitalize on their continuing popularity. Send Michelle Obama out to tell Oprah that America has lost hope. No more hope and change?
Harass the electors. This took a lot of effort. Hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions of emails descended on unsuspecting folks. Their homes were picketed. Mail piled up. Phones rang constantly. They were excoriated by crazed celebrities.
About those celebrities. Of course they are smarter than we are because they have scripts that make them so. We must pay attention to them because they are really quiet, middle class folks, just like the rest of us, and only speak up to defend common people from the oppressive rich. Oh.
Collectively, these are not the actions of a party inclined to self-examination or modification of the policies and attitudes that got it where it is. There are no evident changes forthcoming.
The only thing worse than a sore loser is millions of them. If you’ve been following this column, you’ll appreciate that I’m no fan of Mr. Trump, but hey, it’s over. I was even less a fan of Hillary. It was a terrible choice.
Maybe, instead of whining and gloating, Democrats and Republicans respectively ought to think about the process that got us here and how to make it better, though that is probably a bridge way too far for the political class.
Meanwhile, I’m prepared to wish Mr. Trump well.
In the first place, there is no other rational choice. In the second, I like a lot of the things he said, except when he also said their exact opposite. He can be very confusing.
We can only hope that, after he takes office, he won’t have time to tweet so much or somebody will smash his phone when he isn’t looking.
There is an old saying attributed to the Chinese: “May you live in interesting times.” It is usually applied ironically, suggesting that boring times are more congenial. Ironic or not, it looks like interesting times are here.
Longtime columnist Fred Wolferman recently moved from Southern Pines back to his native Kansas City. Contact him by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.