It’s not just North Carolina anymore.

On Friday, the Obama administration issued a directive (what is that?) requiring all public schools to permit transgender use of whatever bathroom a transgendered person may wish, at peril of loss of federal funds.

There is no statutory basis for this, but this is the Obama administration, after all. Where did this come from? Why now?

Somewhere in a dark, soundproof room, Hillary Clinton is having screaming fits of apoplexy; it is hard to imagine any single thing the administration could have done that would alienate more voters that this. Could this be the final straw on the back of political correctness?

Consider how North Carolina got into this mess: It wasn’t easy.

First, Charlotte had to pass a politically correct ordinance to fix a problem that wasn’t really much of a problem.

Next, the state legislature had to jump on its right-wing high horse, poking a stick into the federal hornets’ nest, to use yet another cliche, to make it clear that transgenderness, if that’s a word, is an offense against civilization and must be monitored to protect, well, the untransgendered, if that’s a word.

Finally, it took a federal Justice Department, the same one that has been fiddling with Hillary’s investigation for a year or so, only a few days to pile onto North Carolina and threaten to withhold billions of federal dollars if the state didn’t cave.

Naturally, the state countersued, guaranteeing the expenditure of more millions of dollars of taxpayer money to placate conservative voters. All of this merely proves how effective and efficient multiple layers of government can be, especially when in full pander mode.

This is only the beginning. This scenario will now be repeated in some form in the other 49 states. The upcoming barrage of lawsuits will keep lawyers, legislatures and judges across the country employed for a decade.

Oh, well. We only have terrorism to deal with, an anemic GDP, enormous debt and deficits, and the most pathetic presidential election in our history. Why not be obsessed about who can pee where?

I don’t even understand how this works. If you have had your plumbing adjusted, it would seem logical, inasmuch as any of this seems logical, that you should use the restroom designated for your redesigned gender.

If you retain your original plumbing, according to the feds, apparently all you need do to use the genetically opposite rest room is to say that you feel like a member of the other sex. It is not clear if this can be an ad hoc choice or if some continuity is required.

As a Wall Street Journal reader commented following an article on this subject, “It would seem that Norman Bates had a civil right to share a bathroom with Janet Leigh.”

How did we ever get along before all this? It was only in the late 19th century that Massachusetts passed the first law requiring separate bathrooms for the sexes. Now it is federal law and applies to all public places and employers with more than just a few employees — but, of course, excluding private residences.

Now we have advanced beyond all that. Since anybody can now go anywhere, we don’t need separate restrooms any more. It will save a lot on construction costs and provide a perfect place for multi-gender (how many are there?) graffiti.

The way out of this is clearly to pass another civil rights law, or, better yet, a constitutional amendment. You can’t have too many laws and amendments.

It should, finally, just get past all possible interpretations and iterations and plainly say something like this: Any person of any race, religion, height, weight, gender, re-gender, handicap, hair color or any other identifying characteristic may go anywhere, do anything, vote indiscriminately (as long as said person is a Democrat), and be entitled to the full faith and protection of the federal government (as long as it exists).

For the purposes of this amendment, the word “person” shall apply to humans, cattle, sheep, swine, and all living things except rattlesnakes.

That ought to do it.

Fred Wolferman lives in Southern Pines.

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