"What women want..." by Fun time with Chuck | The Pilot: Southern Pines, NC

What women want...

Blog: Fun time with Chuck

April 13, 2010

I enjoyed an article on WRAL concerning "What women want in a man". The link is below.

http://www.wral.com/golo/blogpost/7410385/

In a nutshell, through my own personal experiences of dating girls since I was able to go to the movies is that women did not prefer "nice guys".

(Now before I start my story, please by no means ladies think I am belittling, disrespecting or putting down any of you. I love women, but this is simply what I have collected throughout my experience. I expect some criticism, but please do not go off topic and be hateful, actually, if you want to, go ahead, I like to laugh.)

When I hit the age 18, I had a revelation, an epiphany, whatever you may call it. I noticed the guys in school who would be considered jerks attracted all the girls I couldn't get past being "just friends" with. By no means was I an unattractive male, I simply did not get it. I had been a "nice guy" for years; buying flowers, movie tickets, teddy bears, jewelry, basically using my wallet as my way of trying to get a girl to like me. Supplicating, being submissive, you could call me a huge wuss around females. It donned on me, women (well girls when I figured this out) want a man. Simply put a man. If you are a male and are asking what a man is, you probably still don't get it.

It was like I had been born again. I began to attract girls just by changing a few things about myself I probably should have been doing in the first place. I walked differently, I talked differently, I slowed things down. Saw things from a different perspective. I paid attention to people who were getting what I wanted and stopped taking advice from the most important person in my life; My Mom. Love her to death, but fellas, the worst people to get advice about dating from is women, particularly the Mom.

I started using the word "no" a lot. No is a powerful word to a lot of women. They are used to asking for something from a man and getting it. When you tell them no, something sets off. I don't know what is being set off but this is powerful stuff here. I was no longer afraid of saying what I felt, I just said it.

"Do you like my shirt/shoes?" Normally, I'd say yes even if it was ugliest shirt/pair of shoes on God's green earth. I would reply with a smirk, "Absolutely not." You figure they'd get mad, but it was the complete opposite, 9 times out of 10, they would change what they had on and make sure it was something that was going to be pleasing to the eye (even if we were going to be 30 minutes late.)

If I was on a date and it was going no where, I would get up, tell her I wasn't feeling it and leave. I would then either be called a jerk or she would think of a way for me to enjoy the night more with her! It was like doing the complete opposite of what society has taught us guys. This was no Disney movie stuff, this was real.

Now that I have given you all a glimpse of what happened to me, Let me refer back to the article I read. The points that stood out the most to me was women in more poverty ridden areas still prefer more masculine men, while wealthy areas of the world, women are preferring metrosexual men, girly guys, men who are "in touch with their feminine side" I find this to be completely true!

The more I go out the more I notice this. What is with women and feminine guys in this area? Ladies I'm asking you to shed some light here. When my girlfriend and I go to the Bell Tree, I can't help but laugh at the tight pants and scarf’s and Appletinis. BEING WORN AND DRANK BY MEN! Come on guys what is going on here?! I ask her, do you find a man in touch with his feminine side attractive, she grabs me kisses me and says "They aren't real men, you are." Maybe, but what has caused this dramatic change? When I was in high school, if you played sports, drove a fast car, and was a jackass you had all the girls. Now it's tight pants (skinny jeans) nose rings, ear gauges, and shaggy hair.

What's going on here?

debsalomon 3 years, 1 month ago

Wisdom from the rocking chair: Men who ask these questions need to. The French have a saying: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Fads come and go. If you're a natural James Dean, be it. If you're a natural Steve Carell (you DO know who he is, right?), be it. If you're a natural Russell Crowe, well...you probably wouldn't be asking. There's a type of woman for every type of man. So lay off the nose rings and skinny jeans unless you feel born to them. Concentrate on your date, not what other guys are wearing at The Bell Tree. Stop reading so many magazines. Frumpy can be very cute...not to mention sincere. Is that any help? Debster

debsalomon 3 years, 1 month ago

Ohboy, now we must define masculinity which, I believe, is easier for a woman. She just knows. Except the man doesn't have to have washboard abs, fullback shoulders a heavy beard and a firm handshake. Don't forget, there was an era when real men wore curled wigs, white stockings and ruffled shirts. Maybe the guys you observe are just going through a phase, an affectation, like the scruffy long-haired hippies at Woodstock, now judges and bank presidents. I think it's how a man feels about himself, not necessarily what he wears or whether he drinks Bud or an appletini. And it's certainly not a planned behavior centered on being perverse, or talking brusquely to women. We can pretty much spot that three tables away. Although I grant you, much of the time the naughty boys do seem to get the good girls. debster