February 21, 2010
Could someone tell me what they are suppose to do, besides draw a paycheck? Just wondering. Isn't it something like help women with young kids get their dead-beat dads to help support them? Sinero: "daddy of the century" is over 10,000.00 behind. His whereabouts are know, where he lives,works, everything. He is ordered to come to court on a specific day with a certain amount of money (this is after a vacation in jail we paid for.) He strolls in with about half, they pat him on his wrist or maybe it was his back. They set him up yet another court day we as taxpayers will pay for. First, they should have sent him back to jail when he ignored the courts orders, and instead of letting him lounge around in jail with 3 squares, free medical and entertainment make him work, give him minimum wages and use it for his child support. I guess the court system doesn't give CSS a whole lot ofback-up. "And daddy of the century" has presented in court a few times. Same thing over and over. Meanwhile Moms are struggling to rear their kids, always something to worry about. " daddy of the century sleeps well. He doesn't have to worry about paying the electric bill or phone bill or how he's gonna put gas in the car to take a sick child to the doctor or whatever."
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Uniblogger 3 years, 3 months ago
I feel your pain! Mine is $40,000 behind! They had him in court several times...same thing. Now his new girlfriend just says he doesnt live there and they cant serve him. CS has done nothing but more importantly the court does nothing! It's beating a dead horse. When I call my CS worker she just says her hands are tied, and really once they get him into court it is the JUDGES responsibility to back up what was already ordered by the court. If he is in contempt then that is it, he is in contempt throw his butt in jail! Do not say well $100 will be Ok...over the last 4 years I have received $750 total child support for 3 kids! That doesnt even cover their school lunch for 4 years, never mind ortho, field trips, instruments, birthdays, christmas'. I really do feel your pain! We need to figure out how to get these judges to hold these loosers accountable.
squishy 3 years, 3 months ago
OMG...u're so right.The court doesn't uphold the orders that are issued to these poor excuses of men, and you know things aren't gonna get any better til the court (judges), start doing their job. Yeah, throw them in jail but don't just allow them to sit there and do nothing! Put them out and make them work, I'm sure the County, even schools or churches have things that have to be done. Make these dead-beats work and compensate the kids with what they would be earning. These men don't mind lounging in jail. They have nothing to worry about, nothing to deal with. That needs to be stopped!! Jail has become nothin but a break from 'real life,' for these totally worthless poor excuses of men. Thanks for replying Uniblogger. Best of luck.
None 3 years, 2 months ago
As the old adage implies ~ "you can't get blood out of a turnip."
Dead-beat dads' child support obiligations are based on their ability to pay. If they are in jail - they have no ability to pay. If they are unemployed and have exhausted job search opportunities, their ability to pay results in a modified court order based on their ability to meet the court ordered judgement.
Laws are marginal when it comes to legislating one's moral responsibilities, and most dead beat dad's know how to work the system...it's easier than one might think: just get paid in cash or work as an independant contractor and have the check paid in someone elses name. Evidence isn't evidence until you bring it to court....
Uniblogger 3 years, 2 months ago
Yes Toda you are right. At the end of the day you are either a good parent or you are not. However, when you can prove where they live and work and the court will not uphold the law it is the courts fault. They have many "loop holes" and these dead beats (not only Dads are dead beats) work the system to their advantage. Again it is up to the COURTS to hold them accountable. If he is not working then 30 days in county should be a relief to the parent not paying!
None 3 years, 2 months ago
@Uniblogger ~ I served the citizens of Moore County for seven years as Program Director of Child Support Services in the '80's. I know first hand how difficult it is to prosecute some of those delinquent fathers. In most cases there is such animosity toward the mother, fathers would willingly spend time in jail as a reason for not paying child support. Sadly, much too often, the children have to take the brunt of "warring" parents; the burden falling on the shoulders of the custodial parent to provide support.
I can't speak to the current CSE staff or their case load, but rest assured, they are monitored by the state and feds under the Title 4-D act of 1975. The court system is autonomous when it comes to taking direction from the state or federal government. The Sheriff complains that he doesn't have adequate space to house inmates for less serious offenses. Taxpayers are resistant to more taxation. My solution is a work farm where produce and livestock are raised to feed the inmate population, sell excess vegetables, pork, beef and poultry. The proceeds pay for inmates care, and the rest of the money pooled and sent to the court for child support obligations. Now they have a job!
squishy 3 years, 2 months ago
Toda, that's it!! I know how they can and WILL work the system, even at the expense of the kids. Yes, the work farm is utilized in another state and that would be great! Jail shouldn't be a 'vacation' for them. Whether it's the work farm,cleaning and maintaining roadsides countyfacilities,churches, whatever, they should have to do SOMETHING to contribute to their upkeep and any extra go to the child support. Thanks
tlcd76 3 years, 2 months ago
You all sound like a bunch of self-righteous pompus idiots. Moore County Child support agents do not cut breaks to the parents that are actually trying, they are the worst bunch of agents to deal with. In these poor economic times not everyone can afford to pay their child support. Jobs in certain fields are extremely scarce and many of these so called deadbeat dads are struggling to support families in their homes on little money and simply can't come up with the money to pay child support. That doesn't automatically make them deadbeats, it makes them struggling parents. And you try explaining to the kids in your home why daddy is in jail and they are starving because his $110 unemployment won't cover his child support. It is easy to cast stones when you don't know the situation behind the noncustodial parent. This comes from a parent who receives child support and has a spouse that pays child support. Not every parent that isn't paying is a deadbeat dad. Life happens and when you are struggling to make ends meet and pay your bills maybe you should remember that the other parent could very well be in the same position. And how stupid do you have to be to believe that anyone wants to go to jail and be away from their family?? That is just ignorance. Jail is not a vacation or something that anyone enjoys. Try walking in the other persons shoes before casting stones.
SouthernDiva89 3 years, 2 months ago
Child Support in NC is a joke....and a bad one at that. I went through a divorce and ultimately had to file a case for my daughter because my ex husband stopped paying the amount we agreed upon. It took 4 months for my payments to start, and I even provided them all of his vital info up front (current address, phone number, and work info). What in the world took so long? During this 4 months, my ex stopped paying altogether because he was mad that I filed. And my caseworker said there was nothing they could do to get the money for those 4 months unless I was on welfare. What kind of bullsh is that????!!!! I felt like I was basically being punished because I work! My ex now has another child in the system and evidently he has gotten behind on that payment because recently MY daughters monthly payment was a couple hundred dollars short with NO NOTICE because they took my payment and sent it to the other child's mother. So now my case is in arrears. Once again, this is complete BULLSH. How they can get away with this crap is beyond me. And sending deadbeat parents to jail is just plain stupid. It only makes them further behind and everyone suffers as a result. The whole system needs a major overhaul.
Uniblogger 3 years, 2 months ago
Tlcd – Let’s get something straight. I have the shoes on both feet! I have since remarried a man who pays into child support every month even when it is a struggle. Not only do we pay into that child support but we also purchase clothes, shoes, sporting equipment, school supplies, send field trip money, buy Christmas, Easter and Birthday presents … etc; for the child who we pay child support for. So go blow that smoke up someone else’s chimney! Just because a child does not live with you does not mean you suddenly are no longer responsible. If I am self righteous sounding well that’s because I have earned it. I have made sacrifices for my children (including my stepdaughter) which is what a parent does. I do not moan and groan about how unfair it is that we pay into child support. My husband has been laid off twice and we have had to make tuff decisions, I promise you child support did not care that we had three children at home, they wanted the money, imagine this…we paid it! Stop making excuses for not taking care of your children. At the end of the day that’s all it is… EXCUSES!!
None 3 years, 2 months ago
@tlcd76 ~ "You all sound like a bunch of self-righteous pompus idiots". I'm really not sure what you are talking about. I didn't paint all non-custodial parents with the same wide brush...I was associated with the system for seven years, handled thousands of cases both in state and across state lines and even in foreign jurisdictions. The thousands of children and mothers I assisted would have a different point of contention.
@Southern Diva 89 ~ "It took 4 months for my payments to start" the only one's who win in court are the attorneys. Any case docketed for a trial or hearing can take months for a judge to hear a case, then it takes time to process the payments. A judge doesn't sign and order and have a defendant to sign a check at the same time....
tlcd76 3 years, 2 months ago
Uniblogger I have been debating how to respond to your post and quite frankly I have come up with many things but the one thing that I think really fits is that if you are able to do all that for you family that is great but it also shows that obviousy you don't understand what it is to truly struggle month to month to simply pay the household bills. There is not extra money left over to pay for sports equipment, etc. If we could pay the outrageous amount of child support ($800)that my spouse is ordered to pay each month we would but we do not make enough money to pay it. That's nowhere near an excuse or blowing smoke up someone's chimney, it is a fact of life!
Uniblogger 3 years, 2 months ago
Tlcd76 - This will be my last entry on this matter. If you think I have not ever had to choose between putting food on the table, and paying the rent you are mistaken. When I split with my ex, he took everything including the light bulbs. I was a stay at home Mom with nothing more than a HS diploma. I rented a house I couldn’t afford and literally had no furniture in it, not even a television. I worked two jobs just to make rent. We ate spaghetti noodles without sauce plenty of nights because it was all we had. When we went to child support court the judge ordered my ex $1200.00 a month. I settled on $800.00 a month. The entire time the kids and I were living with the bare essentials, my ex purchased a new pickup truck, a Harley Davidson and moved into a $200,000 house. The entire time not once…NOT ONCE has he made an $800.00 payment. In 10 years he has not made one complete Child support payment. My children and I are where we are because of hard work on our part. I drive a used 1991 car; I live in a house that cost $52,000. (It was a foreclosure) I learned a valuable life lesson. If I cannot survive with my paycheck I am living above my means. For you to “attack” me shows your contempt for people who overcome bad situations. Your post shows that you are ignorant to the ways of the world. You think that because I have bettered myself that I have not ever done without. You are a fool. Everyone has a story, everyone has to overcome something. You are painting a very broad picture of parents receiving child support. You are a person full of excuses, blaming everything for your shortcomings. So we have come full circle…PERSONAL RESPONSABILITY
tlcd76 3 years, 2 months ago
uniblogger you are the one coming up with all the excuses. You have taken every thing I have said and come up with something completely irrelevant. My entire original point was simply that the economy is tough right now and it takes an extremely wide brush to paint all nonpaying parents as deadbeats and that it is ridiculous to assume anyone would prefer to spend time in jail than to pay child support. You are the one who has attacked me, I know nothing about you and could care less what you have or have not overcome it has nothing to do with my point. I am simply tired of small minded people who think only of their own circumstances instead of realizing that there are two sides to every child support issue.
Uniblogger 3 years, 2 months ago
tlcd76 ~ "You all sound like a bunch of self-righteous pompus idiots". - YOUR WORDS, NOT MINE!
squishy 3 years, 2 months ago
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU UNIBLOGGER...YOU SOUND LIKE ONE DETERMINED LADY. YOUR KIDS ARE LUCKY TO HAVE HAD YOU THEN AND NOW. TO tlcd76: Yeah, times are hard. And while the man is living on unemployment, HE decides his kids don't need any of it. I'd bet yours is the smallest brain here, and I've had a portion of mine removed. And yes I do know of a few of these "MEN" who have spent time in jail for" refusing" to pay their child support. And sporting new tatoos or piercings almost every time he's seen. I wasn't grouping them as all the same. It wasn't really about them. It is about the system. Did you read anything before you started typing?
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