I got about the best news ever last week. I mean, it rates up there with finding out that black and white are this spring's essential colors.

Or that I will get to watch Hugh Jackman for a whole 90 minutes when "The Wolverine" hits movie screens this summer.

Except the most recent news didn't have to do with fashion or film. It was about food, a subject which occupies my brain only, say, 99 percent of the time.

Seems a popcorn company has invented a new way to eat my favorite snack. Popcorn, Indiana, located ironically in New Jersey, recently came up with a prototype for a popcorn machine-slash-cannon.

Just say "pop," and the world's first fully-automated, voice-activated popper will launch airy bites of heaven directly into your mouth. The Popinator is sure to change my life. No more greasy fingers for me when changing the channel on the remote.

But then, I'm a bit of a patsy when it comes to kitchen gadgets and appliances. My husband knows not to bother me when I'm salivating over the Williams-Sonoma catalog, which is I guess the foodie equivalent of pornography. There's no end to the kitchen tools available from Williams-Sonoma, all of them drool-worthy.

Some of them are essential. My waffle iron gets a work-out every weekend, and the egg poacher I bought for Patrick has been put to good use. Bless him, he correctly read between the lines on that gift and makes eggs benedict for me at least monthly.

Others are near-useless. I bought a creme brulee torch only to realize I actually liked my custard better when I broiled it. Patrick took that gadget off my hands, turning it into a cigar lighter.

The fact that some of the kitchen tools are superfluous doesn't make them any less fun, though.

There's the personal pie maker (awesome!), the whipped cream maker that requires nitrous oxide (wicked!), the electric ebilskiver maker (huh?). OK, so I had to Google ebilskiver to know what it was, but just think how handy it would be to own an appliance that would make Danish pancakes quickly and easily.

If I had a baby, I'm sure I would be all over the Beaba Babycook. Don't be scared. This appliance doesn't, as the name suggests, cook babies. No, it's a baby food maker that is a steamer, blender, warmer and defroster in one.

Sadly, I can't justify getting the Zojirushi Water Boiler and Warmer because I already have one. It's called a pan and stove. But the Zojirushi ... for $125, it not only brings the water to a boil, it also keeps the water warm until ready for dispensing! Oh, right, my stove does that, too.

My zeal for kitchen tools ends at the Vitamix. Sales people for this souped-up blender demonstrate its health benefits by adding vegetables to chocolate smoothies. "You'll never taste the cauliflower!" the sales people say. "You'll never have to chop your vegetables!"

Hmm, instead of spending $500 on the Vitamix, I think I'll save money and do something radical. Like cutting my own veggies and consuming them the old-school way by chewing them.

The Vitamix merely serves to remind me of how lazy our culture has become.

Now, where's my Popinator?

Contact freelance writer Melanie Coughlin at coughlin@embarqmail.com.