Deer Antler Spray?

You Gotta Be Joking

By Betsey Mitchell

Howard, we all know you are kind of a desperate guy, so I’m hoping you can explain Vijay Singh’s nutty decision to ingest deer antler spray.

I’ve had a couple of aches and pains along the way and admit to reaching for the Aleve before hitting the links. I get that.

Then there is the whole notion that he didn’t know it was a banned substance. No excuse, Mister. That’s right up there with saying I didn’t know I wasn’t allowed to move that pine cone in the bunker. The player is always responsible for knowing the rules.

As soon as I heard this crazy story I did some quick research. I had no trouble finding the list of banned substances on the Internet. I also learned more than I ever needed to know about the crazy ways to “improve your life.” The deer antler spray website lists IFG-1 as one of the active ingredients. The PGA Tour drug anti-doping document also clearly lists IFG-1.

But I’m still trying to wrap my head around that moment when anybody, let alone Vijay, stands in front of the bathroom mirror, opens the package that came from who knows where, and thinks, “Yep, this is a great idea. Some guy scraped the gunk from a deer antler, shook it up with something else, put it in this atomizer just so I can spray it under my tongue.”

I don’t know about you, but the next logical line for me is, “If you believe that, I’ve got some oceanfront property for sale in Hoke County.”

Hey, Howard, if you clean out my garage, wash all the windows in my house, and bring me a take-out from Pizza Hut, your shoulder is going to feel a lot better.

Vijay Probably

Would Try Anything

By Howard Ward

Ohhh, Bets, I can’t believe you’re picking on Vijay, one of my favorite golfers.

I got a whiff of Vijay when I was still covering some PGA Tour events and the Masters back in the mid-’90s. That was all I needed. Just a sniff. Didn’t know that odor was deer antler spray, though. My apologies to the deer.

Seriously, I thought back then that he was a case study. He seemed to hate the media, at least us newspaper guys. And frankly, a lot of us learned to avoid him.

If there is one guy on the Tour who would take supplements for healing, I’d bet on Vijay. Like him or not, he’s one of the most dedicated golfers I’ve ever been around. Wish I had a buck for every golf ball he’s hit on the range. Hey, I’d even spring for your next bottle of Aleve.

Actually, I can almost see athletes taking something to help an injury heal sooner. A lot of guys I know take performance enhancing drugs.

Frankly, I don’t think you’re going to find guys on Tour taking a lot of drugs. I don’t doubt for a second that there are some who would sneak a few drags from a joint now and then. And I know a lot of them still enjoy those after-round alcoholic refreshers.

I just can’t see a golfer taking body-altering drugs. Still, I admit that I sometimes wonder when I see some of those sculpted physiques and those 350-yard drives.

As for my aching shoulder, I don’t think there’s enough deer antler spray in Vijay’s locker to cure it. And besides, it’s a perfect alibi. Hit a poor shot and grab the shoulder.

Hey, was that a deer that just crossed the fairway?