No More Clown Questions, Bro

As of Sunday, June 24, 2012

One of my all-time favorite science fiction short stories is R.A. Lafferty's "Slow Tuesday Night."

The basic premise of the story is that humanity has removed a mental block that slowed down action and decision-making, and people now live at a freakishly accelerated clip.

"Transpor-tation and manufacturing had then become practically instantaneous," Lafferty writes. "Things that had once taken months and years now took only minutes and hours. A person could have one or several pretty intricate careers within an eight-hour period." One character makes and loses four fortunes in the course of the night, "not the little fortunes that ordinary men acquire, but titanic things."

The story's a clever satire on how life seems to keep moving faster - and it was written in 1965. One wonders what Lafferty would make of the speed of life now. We haven't quite gotten to the insane pace of his fictional world yet, but sometimes things happen that make it seem like it's not that far off.

The most recent example is the rise and fall of the catch phrase "That's a clown question, bro," which apparently was coined, had its vogue, and was declared dead in the course of a week. And I seem to have missed the whole thing.

It seems there's a young player for baseball's Washington Nationals named Bryce Harper. Harper, after hitting a game-winning home run against the Toronto Blue Jays, was being interviewed in the locker room. A Canadian reporter stepped forward and asked, "Bryce, you know, in Canada you're of legal drinking age. A celebratory Canadian beer would seem to make sense after a hit like that. Favorite beer?"

Now, as noted above, Bryce is a young fellow. Nineteen, to be exact. And he's a Mormon to boot, so drinking beer, Canadian or otherwise, is not likely to be on his agenda. The team's PR man tried to step in, but Harper fielded the question (so to speak) with an aplomb far beyond his years. Giving the reporter a disgusted look, he delivered the smackdown: "I'm not going to answer that. That's a clown question, bro."

Of such humble beginnings, it seems, are Internet memes born. Within a day, "clown question, bro" became the top "trending topic" on Twitter. T-shirts appeared for sale with the catch phrase on them. A beer company in Denver - called, appropriately enough, the Denver Beer Company - announced that it was bringing out a Canadian-style lager called "Clown Question, Bro."

It's too bad, I guess, that Harper didn't have the presence of mind to immediately contact an intellectual property lawyer and have his phrase trademarked. Or perhaps not.

Because a week later, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid was being quizzed by a reporter regarding President Obama's announcement that the administration would not be trying to deport the children of illegal immigrants who were of good moral character and didn't pose a threat to national security. The reporter asked if Reid intended to bring the defunct DREAM Act back to the Senate (where it had been strangled in its crib by Republican filibusters) to "put people on the record."

Reid paused for a long while, then smiled and told the reporter, "That's a clown question, bro."

At that point, blogger Dan Amira of New York Magazine declared the phrase dead after only seven days, "the victim of a brutal and obviously premeditated attack" by Reid - who was, Amira said with tongue planted firmly in cheek, under investigation for "meme-slaughter."

I guess if an old politician like Reid is saying something, it can't possibly be cool anymore. Kind of a shame, actually. "Clown question, bro" is the perfect dismissal for those questions that are just too stupid or slanted to be answered any other way. Like the now-standard "Isn't this (insert absolutely anything the president does or says from now till November) just being done for political gain?"

Maybe if Sarah Palin had answered Katie Couric's "What newspapers do you read?" with "That's a clown question, bro," she would have seemed less dimwitted. At least until the next question.

But who knows? Maybe the reports of its death are premature. Maybe the phrase will go on and have a long and happy life in our culture. I hope so. And I hope I can keep up with the next thing to come along.

Dusty Rhoades lives, writes and practices law in Carthage. Contact him at dustyr@nc. rr.com.

More like this story

bigD 10 months, 4 weeks ago

Big news expected next week. Still planning to cancel your auto insurance?

dustyrhoades 10 months, 4 weeks ago

Clown question, bro.

MikeNC 10 months, 4 weeks ago

dustyrhoades 35 minutes ago ...Clown question, bro.

Haha...Now THAT is funny. I don't care who ya are...Mike

dustyrhoades 10 months, 4 weeks ago

:-) Thanks, Mike.

Bflat 10 months, 4 weeks ago

My friend whose parents are Psychiatrists say to just answer stupid questions that you don't want to answer with another question. Just ask, "Are you OK?" while looking straight into eyes. It shuts 'em up pretty quickly. Now somebody is likely to answer it: "That's a clown question, bro." :))

dustyrhoades 10 months, 4 weeks ago

BFlat, here's a similar favorite of mine:

by dustyrhoades

Bflat 10 months, 4 weeks ago

Hey...I use that same stance when I ask the Are you Ok question. Bwwaahahahaha!

The_AnonymusProfit 10 months, 4 weeks ago

Wow dusty I never heard of clown question either. Were slipping. I blame Lemurs.

bigD 10 months, 4 weeks ago

It was a softball question.. Glad you got the joke

fugitiveguy 10 months, 4 weeks ago

"I'm not going to answer that. That's a clown question, bro."

It would be funny if someone gave this response to a DR question in court.

dustyrhoades 10 months, 4 weeks ago

Everyone, including me would most likely laugh. then the judge would probably instruct them to either answer the question. or make a proper objection. It depends on how much attitude the witness had been showing previously. Pro tip: judges are not fond of attitude.

MikeNC 10 months, 4 weeks ago

dustyrhoades 1 hour, 29 minutes ago ..Pro tip: judges are not fond of attitude.

I have a feeling that we will also learn today that your pro tip also applies to Supreme Court Justices as they uphold the constitutuion....Mike

President Obama attacks Supreme Court on health care by unitytorch

MikeNC 10 months, 4 weeks ago

Justice Grimaces As Obama Criticizes Court by AssociatedPress

dustyrhoades 10 months, 3 weeks ago

I have a feeling that we will also learn today that your pro tip also applies to Supreme Court Justices as they uphold the constitutuion [sic] ....Mike

Looks like they did, but not the way you anticipated:

No mandatory life sentences for juveniles.

Large chunks of Arizona's immigration law struck down on federalism grounds.

And I hope you realize that your eagerness to take a victory lap before the flag comes down caused you to blurt out a complete non sequitr.

dustyrhoades 10 months, 3 weeks ago

"The justices struck down three parts of the law: One making it a crime for an illegal immigrant to work or to seek work in Arizona; One which authorized state and local officers to arrest people without a warrant if the officers have probable cause to believe a person is an illegal immigrant; And one that made it a state requirement for immigrants to register with the federal government. "Arizona may have understandable frustrations with the problems caused by illegal immigration" while the federal goverrment tries to enforce immigration law, but the state "may not pursue policies that undermine federal law," wrote Justice Anthony Kennedy in the majority opinion."

MikeNC 10 months, 3 weeks ago

If you watched the first video you would have realized I'm referring to the health care decision. Looks like we will have to wait until Thursday. As far as Arizona's immigration stance is concerned, the governor is happy with the portion that has been preserved. I assume she knows best what can be classified as a victory for Arizona....

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer hailed the decision as a victory for supporters of tough immigration enforcement. “Today’s decision by the U.S. Supreme Court is a victory for the rule of law. It is also a victory for the 10th Amendment and all Americans who believe in the inherent right and responsibility of states to defend their citizens," Brewer said in written statement. "After more than two years of legal challenges, the heart of SB 1070 can now be implemented in accordance with the U.S. Constitution." SB 1070 is the official name of the Arizona law.

“While we are grateful for this legal victory, today is an opportunity to reflect on our journey and focus upon the true task ahead: the implementation and enforcement of this law in an even-handed manner that lives up to our highest ideals as American citizens. I know the State of Arizona and its law enforcement officers are up to the task. The case for SB 1070 has always been about our support for the rule of law. That means every law, including those against both illegal immigration and racial profiling. Law enforcement will be held accountable should this statute be misused in a fashion that violates an individual’s civil rights."

http://www.newsmax.com/Newsfront/supreme-court-immigration-law/2012/06/25/id/443358?s=al&promo_code=F4A0-1

dustyrhoades 10 months, 3 weeks ago

Brewer claiming victory after the SCOTUS gutted her pet witch-hunting bill is the funniest thing I've seen all day.

Bentpan 10 months, 3 weeks ago

dustyrhoades 2 hours, 20 minutes ago "Brewer claiming victory after the SCOTUS gutted her pet witch-hunting bill is the funniest thing I've seen all day"..................................................................................................................................... 7 out of 10 provisions remain intact including "PAPERS PLEASE" I 'd hardly call that gutting , poor attempt at spin Mr. Rhoades. Gov. Brewer and America had a Major win today, not total victory, perhaps, SCOTUS was trying to soften the blow for thursdays announcement on Obamacare. The Obamas really should start packing now so as to avoid the Christmas ( am I still allowed to say Christmas?) rush.

CSmithson 10 months, 3 weeks ago

Dusty,

You made the Washington Post. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dc-sports-bog/post/demaurice-smith-promises-to-use-thats-a-clown-question-denver-beer-company-readies-its-clown-question-beer/2012/06/25/gJQAuqXk1V_blog.html

"Dusty Rhoades

The awesomely named lawyer wrote a column on Bryce Harper for the Southern Pines (N.C.) Pilot. Filing his dispatch from outer space, Rhoades noted “the rise and fall of the catch phrase ..."

MikeNC 10 months, 3 weeks ago

I see where Homeland security is taking their ball and going home. What a class act administration. They act like babies at the sake of all residents of Arizona and their "Boss" allows them to do so....

In wake of the Supreme Court ruling on SB 1070, the Department of Homeland Security announced that federal authorities will decline many of the calls reporting illegal immigrants that the department may get from Arizona law enforcement. Task force agreements 287(g) have been suspended between the government and Arizona Department of Public Safety, City of Mesa Police Department, Florence Police Department, Pima County Sheriff's Office, Pinal County Sheriff's Office, Yavapai County Sheriff's Office and Phoenix Police Department. Immigration Customs and Enforcements said that 287(g) Task Force agreements aren't helpful in "states that have adopted immigration enforcement laws like SB1070."

How long does it take for EVERYONE to get sick and tired of this kind of treatment from our federal government? http://ktar.com/22/1555484/Feds-cutting-off-many-immigration-calls-

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