Let's Bring Back Sunday Blue Laws
I t was only a few nights ago that I was sleeping so soundly, the details of my dreams could not be described in mixed company. Yet, in the midst of my unconscious joy, I felt first a sharp "love tap" from my partner-for-life. It left only a minor bruise.
"You left the toilet seat up!" were the words slowly reaching the fog that was my now semi-conscious mind. "Who died and made you king?"
I rolled over in apathy, desperately trying to recover that small prurient pleasure that was my dream. But the more I tried, the more my political mind became obsessed with the prospect that my wife had placed before me: What if someone died and actually made me king?
I could lower taxes or simply eliminate every government department except Defense. I could make my megalomania a reality. But I could not settle for mediocrity. Besides, no one would allow my dynasty to last long enough for that to happen. I read "Macbeth." The king dies.
So what could I do to really change things for the better prior to my assassination? What could I do if I only had one law to hand down before my untimely death? I thought. I dreamed. I nursed my wound. Then I knew the answer: a "blue law." I would I call it the American Family Act, a law requiring that all nonessential businesses be closed on Sunday so that families could rediscover what is truly important in life.
Now, I have nothing against shopping. But if the world was created in six days, I can certainly buy my shirts and shoelaces before Sunday. Perhaps I might go to worship, but that has nothing to do with the law itself.
This is a law that could be appreciated by atheists and even polygamists who do not have enough time for family, whichever wife they choose. For me, I would simply have "Sunday dinner" with my daughter and that woman who gets her point across with those "love taps." Perhaps others would just go for a walk or even have a family chat.
In the past 50 years, we have all lost the idea of a day of rest. This has nothing to do with biblical commands. It really has to do with the social revolution that the term "sabbath" represents. It stands for the proposition that human beings ought not to be made to work seven days per week. Nor ought we make even "servants" work seven days per week. Nor should we allow the social pressures of buying that extra Xbox cause people to work without rest.
Family is so important to our society that one day per week needs to be devoted to it or devoted to interpersonal interaction that makes family possible.
Maybe my monarchy could make an exception for ball games and family restaurants, but surely beer sales could wait until Monday. I believe that most everything could wait until Monday if we truly used Sunday to discover ourselves and the ones we love.
Now, I am a conservative. I do not believe in big government. But I am not a libertarian. I am a "social conservative" who believes that government has its place to give us a society that can perpetuate itself as both a commercial and moral "shining city on a hill."
So I do believe that government has a right to prohibit abortion. Government has a role in the definition of marriage. And government should prohibit most commerce on Sunday to fulfill its role in creating a conducive environment for the success of the nuclear family, society's essential building block
Well, it was good to be "da king." But then, I rolled over again. Indeed, my wife was right. None had yet died. I was not king. So, I uttered the three most important words a husband can say: "I am sorry."
She had fallen back asleep. She did not hear me. But, as I nursed my sore at the site of my love tap, I smiled. Because, for a short while, I was king and I gave families a chance to survive a world moving all too fast. But that is why I moved my family to Moore County in the first place.
Robert M. Levy is chairman of the Moore County Republican Party. Contact him at Law52@prodigy.net.
More like this story