Hey, Big Guy, Answer This Wish List
Whoops, there he goes again. That jolly old man in the red suit is climbing over the backyard fence.
Yeah, it’s Merry Christmas time again, and you’ll get no “Happy Holidays” greeting from me. Are you kidding? I still believe in Santa Claus.
I have to believe in the guy. He keeps bringing me exactly what I want for Christmas every year, and all I have to do is write a list or drop a couple of subtle hints.
Over the past 70-plus years my list has evolutionized (is that even a word?) from toy dump trucks and cap pistols to new TaylorMade drivers and MaxFli golf balls, but I’ve never been disappointed yet.
So I’m always happy on Christmas — even before the big ham the BW puts on the table, which she insists matches the one saying grace.
But as happy and pleased as I am, I know I have some friends out there who would like something special, so I’ve already mailed the fat guy a list of things I’d like to see them receive.
For my old buddy PutterBoyd, another new knee to match the one he recently received that’s working so well. Walking without pain is something a knee replacement patient can really appreciate.
For another old buddy, known far and wide as the Washer, fewer rainy days and more dirty cars. Hey, that new house didn’t come cheap, and he still needs a new set of irons.
For Kelly Miller, president of Pine Needles and Mid Pines Resorts, recognition for the job he’s been doing with those two courses for the past three decades. The restoration of Mid Pines is going to be a huge success.
For Bob Burwell, a line of customers at Robert’s Golf Store. If there’s anyone in Moore County who gives more time to youths and charity than Burwell, I haven’t been introduced to him or her yet. And nobody is kinder to a washed up ol’ hacker than Bob.
For Hunter Chase, The Pilot sports editor who suffers through my offerings every week, patience. One of these days I’m going to learn to type, Hunter. I promise.
For Ted Robinson, the dedicated owner/operator of Deercroft Golf Club, a lot of green grass, rain at the right time and plenty of paying customers. Here’s guy who’s doing all the right things in an effort to return the club to prominence.
For the members of the Country Club of Whispering Pines and Foxfire Country Club and Resort, a period of peace and prosperity. After years of disappointment and some heartbreak, the two clubs appear to be headed in the right direction with new ownership that is ready to spend the money to cure the problems at two really good locations.
For Doug Thompson, the amicable general manager and head professional at Southern Pines Golf Club, the ability to talk to people. Doug really needs to develop some personality.
For Mike Floyd, the new general manager at Whispering Woods Golf Club, another truckload of those fairway woods from Warrior Golf. A round of golf with a cart, a dozen golf balls and a new golf club for 49 bucks is still the best deal I’ve heard of.
For Betsey Mitchell, who co-pens a “Dueling Divots” pro-con article with me in a couple of monthly golf publications, a little indignation. I’m really kicking her around pretty bad. Or is it the other way around?
For Jack Fields, the talented Southern Pines golfer who turned professional last year, a banner season that concludes with a move up from the eGolf Tour. He won twice in 2012 and did well in the PGA Tour qualifying school except for a balloon round of 76 in the second stage that cost him a chance to make it into the finals.
For the Gates Four Gangsome, anything you guys want. For having the patience and kindness to put up with my ever-deteriorating game, you deserve special consideration.
So go Puddin’, Boss Hawg, C-Dog, Jack the Lipper, Ol’ Hec, Craze, Boy George, Bubba, Big’un, Garo, La-La, Don Ho, Freddie T and Talkie. You may not be the best golfers in the Sandhills, but you definitely make all my Christmases a little merrier.
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