Haney's New Job?
G ood-natured Mike Haney recently ended 14 years of exemplary service to Southern Pines, including four as mayor. His grateful colleagues gave him a new title: town ambassador.
At a meeting of the Southern Pines Rotary, equally good-natured Mike Fields, mayor pro tem, marked the occasion by reading a mock-proclamation to fellow Rotarian Haney, which we can't resist sharing here.
After congratulating the former mayor, Fields felt compelled to inform him of some of the duties involved in his new ambassadorial role.
"The first duty," he said, "is that the town ambassador will be responsible for handling all citizen complaints that the current or future Town Council members may receive - especially those from irate citizens.
"Secondly, the town ambassador will be expected to be the first line of defense against the N.C. Department of Transportation by personally standing in front of any NCDOT bulldozers or other heavy equipment they may use to remove trees for the purpose of installing galvanized steel guardrails on roads in Southern Pines.
"And lastly: As you know, Southern Pines is well-known for the outstanding parades we host - including the Christmas parade and the recent horse carriage parade. Bringing up the rear of this year's Christmas parade was the Wells Fargo wagon pulled by a team of horses. ... And so, Mr. Ambassador, because we know how much you like being part of town parades, you will be responsible for marching at the end of those parades, carrying a shovel and a bucket to remove anything that has steam rising from it.
"So again, congratulations!"
Haney, a close friend of Fields, took the ribbing in the intended jocular spirit. Still we're not sure those shoveling responsibilities shouldn't be spread around a little more - though this wouldn't be the first time Haney has proven himself adept at cleaning up a public mess.
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