I do this every time.

Apparently I don’t own a calendar or look at the NASCAR schedule nearly enough, so I missed the fact that last weekend was Easter and there was no NASCAR Cup race.

Sure, the trucks and the Nationwide Series raced at Nashville, but Kyle Busch won the truck race and Carl Edwards won in Nationwide with nary a good storyline to come out of either one.

The only real story to come out of the week has been that Jeremy Mayfield’s dogs bit a mail carrier. I can neither confirm nor deny that while the dogs were running rampant on the poor mail carrier Mayfield was standing on his front porch yelling, “Git off my property!”

As you can tell, I can’t really wrap my brain around any cohesive train of thought, so it’s all going to be random.

A fire destroyed NASCAR Legend Smokey Yunick’s old garage in Daytona Beach earlier this week. Don’t worry, though; after the fire, they were still able to drive it home.

I think I have now heard it all. Texas Christian’s Andy Dalton’s draft stock is falling. Because he has red hair. That is some good ginger hate there. At least his draft stock isn’t falling because he was too hung over to attend a meeting with the Panthers. Ryan Mallett, you sir, are an idiot.

As I mentioned above, NASCAR’s second and third series ran their first stand-alone races of the year last week at Nashville. Both races were won by drivers running for the Sprint Cup Championship. Weren’t we supposed to be beyond this with this new point system? Johnny Sauter, who won the truck race in Martinsville, is the only series regular to win in trucks or Nationwide in 2011.

The question I have is, “How thick is a snicker, exactly?” Here’s hoping Brandon Flowers reconnects with his lady love.

By some whim of fate, I spent Easter Sunday in a church that doubles as a bar in Myrtle Beach, S.C. It was quite possibly the best service I have ever attended.

I want to have a 100th birthday party like Rachel Gilbert had. She got to turn laps at New Hampshire Motor Speedway even though she hasn’t driven since her spring chicken days as a 95-year-old. That is one awesome grandma.

Homer alert: The Carolina 200 returns to Rockingham Speedway on May 14, 2011. Tickets for the UARA Late Models and the USAR Pro Cup are still on sale. You can get them by calling (910) 205-8800 or at www.rockinghamspeedway.com.

I have a new obsession: It’s “Swamp People” on the History Channel. I saw an overweight, middle-aged man with a mullet and a penchant for wearing overalls with no shirt (or, presumably, underwear) underneath fall out of a boat on top of an 8-foot alligator, shoot it with a pistol he keeps in the pocket of said overalls, then pull the gator back in the boat with his homemade winch.

What’s not to love about his show? Makes me want to go hunt the al-la-gae-tah.

Contact Andy Cagle at andycagle@earthlink.net.