New York's Naked Cowboy Fits Right In
- Print print this page
- Discuss 19 comments, Blog about
Advertisement
It sometimes surprises people to know that a simple country lawyer like me really likes New York City. I wouldn't want to live there, mind you (too -expensive), but I do enjoy spending time there, -walking around the place, taking in the sights, such as the Empire State Building, Central Park, the Naked Cowboy ...
What's that, you say? You don't know about the Naked Cowboy? Well, pull up a chair and give a listen, brethren and sistern, and let me tell you about him.
The Naked Cowboy (real name Robert John Burck) has been a fixture in New York's Times Square for years. He's a street musician who's become so famous that he's got his own stop on the Gray Line tour.
He occasionally goes on tour outside the Big Apple as well, appearing in such places as Austin, Texas; New Orleans at Mardi Gras; and his hometown of Cincinnati for Memorial Day. He's appeared in music videos and TV commercials. He's even franchising the concept - for $5,000 a year, you too can be your own city's Naked Cowboy (or Cowgirl).
It should be noted that the Naked Cowboy does not, in fact, appear entirely naked. That would probably get him arrested, even in New York. He performs his tunes dressed in a cowboy hat, white boots and a strategically placed red, white and blue guitar that covers up the fact he's dressed in his tighty whities.
Now the Naked Cowboy wants to be your president.
On Sept. 29, 2010, the NC appeared, uncharacteristically dressed in a suit and tie and with his long hair cut short, to announce that he planned to challenge Barack Obama in 2012 for leadership of the Free World. And guess which party's banner he plans to run under?
I know some of you tea partiers are probably muttering under your breath, "Don't let him be one of ours, don't let him be one of ours..." I know you've been trying really hard not to look like a party filled with kooks and loons. I feel for you, I really do.
But sorry, guys, he's yours. The Bare Buckaroo is, indeed, a self-declared tea party candidate.
At first, I was thinking that this had to be some sort of joke, like Christine O'Donnell. Then I remembered, O'Donnell's not actually playing it for laughs, even though she begins her most recent campaign ad by denying she's a witch.
(Here's a hint: If you're forced to start off by disavowing earlier videotaped statements that you once practiced the Dark Arts but that you're much better now, you're already way behind on the PR battle.)
No, the Cowboy Formerly Known as Naked was right out there at his opening press conference with a straight face and a mysterious blonde woman (possibly Mrs. Cowboy) by his side. He was spouting that good old tea party line: The Evil Guvmint's taking over everything, so he's going to reduce the civilian federal workforce by 40 percent "or more" (while of course providing no details about which four out of 10 he'd cut).
He also wants to make all welfare recipients take random drug screens (whether there's any evidence they're using drugs or not). He wants to eliminate the federal Department of Education altogether. Asked about his recent occupation, he hesitated for only a brief second before earnestly explaining that "naked is a metaphor for honest."
But wait, he's not really naked, despite the name, so does that mean he's not really honest? If he fakes his nudity, is he faking honesty as well?
Heh. I guess he does fit right into the tea party. He fits right in with the tea partiers who rail against Medicare while opposing cutting payments to doctors like themselves. He fits right in with the millionaires who rant against stimulus money while getting rich off it.
He fits right in with the politicians like Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle, who claims to deplore Washington "backroom" deals and then gets caught on tape trying to make just such a deal, offering an opponent access to power brokers if the opponent will just drop out of the race.
The Naked Cowboy is just trying to do what he's done for years. He's a huckster, a showman, trying to shake a few coins out of the rubes from out of town before hopping on the very gravy train he claims to want to derail.
He's perfect for the tea party.
Dusty Rhoades lives, writes and practices law in Carthage. Contact him at dustyr@nc.rr.com.
More like this story
Advertisement
Comments
OldPilot 2 years, 7 months ago
A Sunday without a column by Dusty Rhoades just wouldn't be a good day. Political truth and satire all in one...and that's the naked truth!
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
Thanks, OP!
JK 2 years, 7 months ago
Mr. Rhoades is consistent if nothing else....what a waste.
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
Thanks for reading every week, JK!
MikeNC 2 years, 7 months ago
Very interesting theory dusty...Your words..."I know some of you tea partiers are probably muttering under your breath, "Don't let him be one of ours, don't let him be one of ours..." I know you've been trying really hard not to look like a party filled with kooks and loons."
But in reality dusty; there's normally a loon or two connected to every one's family as well as to there political party. Here's a few that our president has hanging out in his closet... Emil Jones Jr, Rashid Khalidi, The Rev. Michael Pfleger & Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Antoin Rezko and of course the list would not be complete without the likes of William Ayers & Bernadine Dohrn. But the list keeps on going to include appointed cabinet members and many past associations while in college....and the list does not stop there; seems like it never ends in fact. Somehow our wonderful and accurate news media chooses to ignore such things and concentrate on characters such as the one you choose to spend your time on :) Not just your ordinary kooks and loons either... as you put it.
I'll take the naked cowboy any old day, but ya know what...the naked Cowboy might be accepting the TEA party as an affiliation... But with our president...he is the one who accepted the above named folks and had personal dealings and friendships lasting for years and decades.
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
Right on schedule, the "I know you are but what am I" "defense"...and the inevitable trotting out of the tired and ineffectual old bugbears: Ayers, Wright, etc. none of whom kept Obama (who isn't running by the way) from getting elected by a huge margin.
Yawn.
moonchild7 2 years, 7 months ago
Standing semi-naked in Times Square strumming a guitar, panhandling for money is not "quite" having enough experience to become our next President. Sorry ChiefHammer.
The Naked Cowboy was on Howard Stern's radio program two weeks ago along with "The Naked Cowgirl" who he's suing for copyright infringement. Didn't know that a person could copyright NAKEDNESS, but you learn something everyday. He said that he earns over $250,000 a year and is also an "Ordained Minister"(of what he didn't say)and charges $499 to have him "perform" the marriage ceremony in Times Square.
Now if that's your kind of candidate Tea Party, GO FOR IT!!!! YUCK.
madstork 2 years, 7 months ago
Hey, Jerry Rhodes, You once mentioned that you were able to separate your op-ed Pilot conversations from your DustyRhodes blog retorts. Seems to me that the professional would refrain from “blogging” on your own op-ed piece on the same day…but that’s just me. So Sad.
fatboy 2 years, 7 months ago
I'd probably consider him. He would have to be better than the current "Community Organizer" in office now.
Ross 2 years, 7 months ago
colesue21.......yup - thought you would :)
Behan 2 years, 7 months ago
Another dull, childish DR column.
Does the Pilot not have any paid editors?
LB67 2 years, 7 months ago
are the Naked cowboy and Sarah Palin running together?
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
Thanks for continuing to read them, Behan!
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
madstork...what the hell are you talking about?
MikeNC 2 years, 7 months ago
DR says...."and the inevitable trotting out of the tired and ineffectual old bugbears: Ayers, Wright, etc. none of whom kept Obama (who isn't running by the way) from getting elected by a huge margin"
Once again you prove that there is no use in debating anything you state as you only pass it off as trivial in nature or ignore or demand citations for facts that everyone is aware of. You fit right in with the washington self righteous folks who think of themselves upon a pedestal.
I will take away from your comments that the likes of Emil Jones Jr, Rashid Khalidi, The Rev. Michael Pfleger & Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Antoin Rezko and William Ayers & Bernadine Dohrn are just ordinary folks in whom you would also be proud to associate with as our president.
You like to use little cutsey, non intelligent and meaningless fragmented statements to protect your written tripe and political beliefs...Kind of like the cutsey and meaningless campaign slogans our president used to get that 'huge marginn' you speak of...You may go now...Mike
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
Blah blah blah same old tired stuff from Mike. Do you ever have anything original to say?
Arestorer 2 years, 7 months ago
Its scary to think theyre people out there that would even consider this man anything but a joke. The right "party" though.
intrepidreader 2 years, 7 months ago
"muttering under your breath, "Don't let him be one of ours, don't let him be one of ours..." I know you've been trying really hard not to look like a party filled with kooks and loons. I feel for you, I really do. But sorry, guys, he's yours."
Actually, Dusty, I think you just described how it went when Democrats/liberals/progressives/moonbats were confronted with Alvin Greene.
But look on the bright side, at least Alvin Greene hasn't publicly agreed with Democrat Congressman Hank Johnson, who believes Guam will capsize if more Marines are sent there. Yet. Though he probably would if he knew what Guam was. Or what capsize means.
JK 2 years, 7 months ago
“Do you ever have anything original to say?” I hope that sounds familiar...you of course wrote it. Mr. Rhoades, I challenge you to push yourself.
Get off the exhausted TEA Party bashing, anti-GOP commentary and your obvious pro-DNC leanings. In your future prose make the hard right instead of the easy left. Stop the satirist schtick and try being a journalist.
Our country is in a less than optimum state on both sides of the political spectrum. Provide your readers some honest “country lawyer” commentary.
Ross 2 years, 7 months ago
DR - the right wing toons pay homage by ALWAYS reading your column.
It is much wittier than most - keep up the great work!
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
Meanwhile, the Tea Party candidate in Ohio's 9th District likes to run around dressed as a Nazi....
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2010/10/why-is-this-gop-house-candidate-dressed-as-a-nazi/64319/
"We salute these idealists; no matter how unsavory the Nazi government was, the front-line soldiers of the Waffen-SS (in particular the foreign volunteers) gave their lives for their loved ones and a basic desire to be free."
It's just everyone else they wanted to oppress...except the Jews who they just wanted to exterminate.
Thanks, I'll take Alvin Greene over a Nazi re-enactor, a fruitcake who believes she used to be a witch, or a naked huckster any day.
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
JK: thanks for your "advice". Unfortunately, I don't tend to give much credence to the suggestions of people who don't have the courage to insult me under their own names. When you grow a spine and stop hiding behind an alias, I might take you seriously. Maybe.
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
And teabagger Sharron Angle is now making up entire cities and implying they've been taken over by sharia law:
http://www.washingtonmonthly.com/archives/individual/2010_10/026080.php
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
From my friend Nathan:
"I've hung out with this guy a few times, as my brother-in-law is in his band. You are absolutely right, Dusty, he is 100% carny. If this were 1902 he'd be peddling some sort of elixir from a wooden cart (probably in his underwear). I have no idea if he even believes in this tea-bagger **** or not, but it makes no difference if he does or doesn't. The show must go on."
100% carny...sounds like the Tea Party to me. And the rubes just lap it up.
MoldyLunchbox 2 years, 7 months ago
Well if Nathan said it then it must be true.
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
Only a fool would argue with Nathan.
jcinaberdeen 2 years, 7 months ago
I do have to agree with the Cowboy on one point....Random drug tests for those on welfare. Why not? Our taxes pay my husband's salary (active duty military)...and he as well as all others are subjected to random drug tests "without reason". Our taxes pay welfare recipients..so why shouldn't they be randomly tested?
dustyrhoades 2 years, 7 months ago
Our taxes pay Medicare and Social Security recipients, too. Want to randomly drug test them?
JK 2 years, 7 months ago
Mr. Rhoades,
JK 2 years, 7 months ago
Thanks for reading "Dusty"...
jcinaberdeen 2 years, 7 months ago
Dusty...very good point BUT these benefits should be for those who either earned them or for those who are trying to work or physically can't work. You can't tell me you don't know there are millions of people out there on welfare who shouldn't be. Why not drug test them? Like I said- noone protests soldiers being tested. Innocent people shouldn't have a problem with it, right?
moonchild7 2 years, 7 months ago
This conversation was supposed to be more or less about a man who stands semi-naked in Times Square strumming a guitar. Oh, he's also a TEABAGGER CANDIDATE running for the office of President of he United States. Why do so many of these comments seem to ALWAYS grind down to the issues of our goverment and it's WELFARE PROGRAMS? And let's not forget, of course, the "horrible people" who receive said services?
Where is the more needed ANGER towards the thieves on WALL STREET who are robbng more and more from the TAXPAYERS? Yesterday's WSJ had a figure of about $100 BILLION in bonuses going to bankers, hedge funders, and stock brokers this year. It is beyond me to comprehend why their isn't more outrage from the "average person/taxayer".
I do what I can in that I write my Congressmen and women, the President, the SEC, to protest my anger in writing. AT least I can say I have had my say, but the anger is being totally mis-directed. Why don't any of you guys see this?
Oh, is it because at least the guys on WALL STREET are "working"? Did any of you watch 60 Minutes on Sunday about how the COMPUTERS are running the"deals" now because they are so much faster? CORRUPT. Beyond belief. Not sure where or how the NAKED COWBOY stands on this issue but with income of over $250,000(I'm not putting him down, he works so hard and naked)I have a feeling that besides drug testng "welfare queens" he'd KO all Public Assistance. NO DOUBT.
Arestorer 2 years, 7 months ago
Maybe they need to drug test the Cowboy.