Random thoughts while I, for the life of me, cannot figure out this NASCAR schedule.

When the Nationwide Series returns this week, it will be after a three-week layoff. The Cup Series was off last week after a four-week racing span. They return at Bristol then go to Martinsville before taking a week off for Easter. Then there isn’t another week off in the schedule until July 18. Then they race for 17 straight weeks from Indianapolis on July 25 until Homestead the week before Thanksgiving.

Why do you have two breaks in three weeks, then go two stretches of 14 and 17 weeks with no off-weeks?

Without some tweaks, Talladega is going to be crazy fast with the spoiler.

So, I keep hearing this Tiger Woods guy is coming back to play some golf.

Carl Edwards has some relatively new commercials for the Ford Fusion. In one of them, he talks about pulling up next to a Toyota Prius. I keep waiting for him to say, “....so I put him in the wall. He knows the deal between me and him.”

Cool move by North Carolina to play its NIT game at Carmichael Arena.

Even though there was no NASCAR racing last week, there was some racing action in my world. The Spring Fling kicked off at Rockingham Speedway last Sunday. The Legends and Bandolero Championship Series continues every Sunday (except Easter) between now and April 18.

The Chump Cars were also at the Rock last weekend. I was bummed. Couldn’t get a car together to race in that one. It looked like a blast.

I am wondering if the Cleveland Browns will give me $7 million to play quarterback. At this point in our careers, I can’t be any worse than Jake Delhomme. I didn’t throw 18 interceptions last year.

I got my bracket filled out for my NCAA pool — you know, because I like throwing my money away.

HBO drug dealered me. I went online and watched the first episode of “The Pacific.” Now I have to get HBO to watch the rest.

Ben Roethlisberger, I don’t know what happened in that bathroom in Milledgeville, Ga., but you’re an idiot.

I spent a chunk of time Wednesday afternoon at the Little Rock Speedway off the backstretch of the Rockingham Speedway. I just can’t help it — NASCAR cars at Rockingham make me happy.

Esquire is currently holding an NCAA-style tournament to determine the world’s sexiest woman. Sixteenth-seed Lane Kiffin, University of Southern California head football coach, holds a commanding lead over top-seeded Natalie Gulbis in the “sports” side of the bracket. This is why I love the Internet.

Danica Patrick, the nine-seed, ran into a tough draw going up against eighth-seeded Erin Andrews. Tough break for Danica. She’s not beating the sideline princess to get out of the first round.

Contact Andy Cagle by e-mail at andycagle@earthlink.net