“Just say the word fat, already! I know that’s what you really mean!” The beginning of a lover’s spat. Not with my husband — my Wii Fit.

I have a crush on my workout buddy. Mostly because of his constant praising: “Well done!” “You’ve got great balance!” He always keep me motivated during the more strenuous activities, telling me, “Keep it up, you’re doing great!” and “Almost done! Don’t give up now!” Sometimes he gets on my nerves by telling me that I’m “a little shaky or unsteady.” I just look past those little quirks because at the end of the workout, I always feel great, thanks to him.

It hasn’t always been all fun and games. We got off to a pretty rocky start. When we first met, he immediately told me that though I am 26 years old, I have the balance, stability and physicality of a 38-year-old. Sucker punch. I’m sorry, Mr. Fit, I didn’t come here to be judged.

But that wasn’t all. After using his balance board/scale to weigh me, he delivered the news that I was overweight! Actually his exact words were, “Oh, you’re overweight!” Though I had been completely aware of this fact before I met him (because I usually look in the mirror daily), why does he have to say it all overcritical and uppity? Whatever. What’s wrong with the word fat? If you’re going to accuse me of looking and feeling 38 and overweight, what’s wrong with being a little more candid? After that blow, I got over it, and we collaborated on my weight loss goal, and he seemed very optimistic.

He’s a big fan of letting me know how off center my balance is and tries to force balance tests on me.

Leave it alone, Wii! I’ll get to it when I’m ready! Sure, sometimes during the day I’ll just be standing and lose my balance, but that happens to everyone, right? (Right?) OK, maybe I’ll check those out tomorrow.

However, my favorite thing he gives me to do is spin an imaginary Hula Hoop around for 10 minutes. Though it’s the best abdominal/oblique workout I’ve had in a long time, heaven help me if anyone ever sees me doing it or puts it on YouTube. It tends make you look like you’re have a seizure while trying to avoid getting stung by a bee.

We get into arguments mostly because he makes me wake up at 5:30 every morning to weigh in. What a way to start the day — a reminder of how “overweight” I am. I guess a little self-awareness doesn’t hurt anybody. I just get cranky so early in the morning. It’s actually nice to get that little reality check every day! More people could use that — go to peopleofwalmart.com and you’ll see what I mean.

His pet names are the tops. “Calorie Incinerator,” “Yoga Master,” “Fitness Expert.” What girl could resist such flattery? Don’t get me wrong though — give a little less than 100 percent and he’ll call you a “couch potato” without a moment’s pause. Ouch! Come on, Mr. Fit, it wasn’t that bad! You’re such a perfectionist.

However, much it may sting to hear the truth, it’s for the best. Which is the only reason why I prefer working out with Wii Fit than my husband. He’s already in great shape, muscular, tall, dark and handsome … ha, sorry I digress.

He’s also too nice to tell me what I need to hear. “You’re doing great, hon! It’s OK that you didn’t do that last set of reps!” Wii Fit would never stand for that. He would tell me I’m a slacker and a wimp, in somewhat nicer terms I’m sure. He keeps me in check, and all his insults just make me want to work that much harder.

There’s no denying it, I’m in love with my Wii Fit. Like any blossoming relationship, half of the time I’d like to unplug his power cord and throw him against the wall. But now that I’m getting used to having him around as a part of my life daily, we’re doing all right.

My next solution to help curb obesity: Wii Refrigerator.

Imagine the possibilities … “Put back the left over spaghetti, couch potato!”

Kathryn Galloway is a graphic designer for The Pilot. Contact her at kathryn@thepilot.com.