How do you know you are loved? Especially when it is not Valentine's Day, Christmas, Hanukkah, Thanksgiving or any other day when the retailers rush to tell you how to tell someone that you love them?

Here is the answer: notes.

I recently took a long driving trip to visit my mom in Pennsylvania, via Charlottesville, Va., where I visited Thomas Jefferson, through Richmond, where I visited friends and the graves of my dear, dear maternal grandparents. It was a lot of driving. A good visit everywhere I went. But it was not until I got home that love flooded all over me.

My husband left two days after I took off on my trip. He is traveling in Italy with his older brother - a -voyage of discovery for them both when it comes to bonding and sharing Tony's favorite place outside of here.

So, I came home to an empty house. And a snowfall of little yellow Post-its with declarations of love, such as in the laundry room, attached to the front of the dryer: "My love will never dry up." Or in my medicine drawer: "Take good care of yourself, I love you." On the mirror: "I love you even when you are brushing your teeth."

I mean, who does this? There are well over 20 little notes, on doors, in drawers, on my pillow, in the fridge. Trust me, it is better than diamonds.

Guys - heck, gals too - if you want to tell someone how much you love them, do something simple and cheap. Write little notes when one least expects them. Plaster the place with silly notes with specific messages; it makes you feel good in the doing and the receiving. I was walking on air and after two days home, I am still finding them. Adorable.

Now, in my own defense, I should tell you that my husband is traveling during his birthday, so in his suitcase there sat about 15 different cards, with the name of cities or places where he was to open them. I even sent one to his brother, who is also -celebrating a birthday. It is a cheap and cuddly way to go with someone when they travel or greet them when they come home to an empty house.

This sort of thing beats spending (though I am not suggesting it replace gifts, goodness me no!). It is a silly, maybe goofy, lovely show of affection.

Now, does he still make me crazy when he leaves dishes by the sink and do I still make him crazy when I move things in the kitchen while he is -cooking? Sure, life is made up of being very much in love and contemplating murder on any given day. It is getting the balance tipped in favor of being in love that is the tricky bit.

Often our minds and our chatter tend to be about what we don't have, don't like or can't do. Love notes are the polar opposite of that. It is about what we see in one another that even the object of the note cannot see: how wonderful and dear they are.

Notes do not change the nature of relationship into a Disney fairy tale, but it is like a little potion that you take to ward off both the unreal Prince and the Mean and Cruel Witch and find the peace of loving the -person in front of you.

And if you get the notes given to you, you might even learn to love the person walking around in your own skin a little better.

Write 10 notes and call me in the morning.

Joyce Reehling lives in Pinehurst. She recently retired here from New York after a 33-year career in theater, TV and commercials.