Parenting Guru Comes to Sandhills
John Rosemond is a noted family psychologist with more than 35 years experience and bestselling parenting books to his credit. But when it comes down to it, he thinks parents simply need to shift their perspective.
"I don't talk about methods," Rosemond says. "I try to change your point of view."
Rosemond champions a return to traditional parenting, in which common sense prevails. He says he gives parents permission to accept that what they already know is true.
Lisa Wilson of Southern Pines attended a lecture by Rosemond last year and describes Rosemond's philosophy as a "different mindset."
"When John Rosemond explains his approach, there's this 'aha' moment," she says, "and then what he calls common sense becomes easy to implement."
The concept of a marriage-focused family is central to Rosemond's philosophy. He says parents focus all their energy on their children, leading to an overriding and consuming sense of expectation on the part of the children. The result, he says, is that we "unleash the demons of disobedience."
Rosie Rausch of Pinehurst says that adopting a marriage-centered style has made her a better parent. A voracious reader of Rosemond's books and weekly column, Rausch says, "I like that his principles are based on the knowledge we have intrinsically."
Mark Parson, father of one, agrees. He and his wife also attended a lecture by John Rosemond last year.
"I went kicking and screaming, but it didn't take me long to realize it was well worth the time," Parson says, adding that Rosemond reinforced the principles they live by in their home.
Surprisingly, Rosemond blames his profession for many of the troubles plaguing parents.
"We psychologists created the problem and are profiting greatly from it," he says.
Rosemond recalls when psychologists of the 1970s advocated a "radical" change in America's parenting strategies.
"We changed our parenting paradigm to a paradigm that was based on a psychological theory," he says. "We based it on false notions."
One of those false notions, according to Rosemond, is that high self-esteem is a good thing. Instead, Rosemond says that modesty and humility are the primary values that help individuals function as adults, stating that "culture is strengthened by people who are humble and modest."
Rosemond admits his views are not shared by the mainstream of his profession, but syndication in more than 200 newspapers nationwide demonstrates that his philosophy resonates with those in the trenches -- the parents. Rosemond has authored 13 books including the bestselling "Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children." He brings his wisdom to Southern Pines in two lectures Jan. 30 and 31.
Rosemond will address the topic "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child" Friday, Jan. 30, at 7 p.m. Pointing out that it's human nature to want your own way, Rosemond says everyone is strong-willed. His advice centers around what he terms the "three Cs of communication, consequences and consistency," resulting in a model for the successful discipline of all children. The session will be followed by a book signing.
"The Keys to Effective Discipline Workshop" on Saturday, Jan. 31, gets to the heart of the single greatest child-rearing issue. This presentation provides parents with the information and skills they need to begin making significant positive changes in their discipline style and, therefore, their children's behavior. Rosemond builds upon the three Cs, describing them as three legs of the disciplinary tripod and emphasizes that weakness in one of the legs will cause the entire structure to wobble. He shows parents, through example, how to put the model to work in their homes. This workshop is from 9 a.m. until 12:30 p.m.
Both sessions are at Pinecrest High School's Auditorium in Southern Pines. The cost is $10 for the Friday seminar, $15 for the Saturday workshop, or $20 for both sessions. Tickets are available at the Moore County Chamber of Commerce, online at www.sandhillsmops.com, or at the door. Group sales are available.
These seminars are presented by Sandhills MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) and are made possible through the support of Drug-Free Moore County, Inc., SandhillsKids.com, and The Village Chapel.
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