When the phone rings on Wednesday or Thursday evening, it's usually Iris Strother calling to ask me if I can play Friday at the Carolina House in Pinehurst.

We play the first Friday of each month. I almost always tell her I'll be there. She's hard to say no to. There are four of us in our little group. Iris plays the piano and is kind of the boss; Jane Robinson sings, Linda Uphole also sings, and I play the saxophone.

When I first began playing for the folks at Carolina, I was uneasy. I didn't know what to expect.

Friends have told me they don't like to visit nursing homes -- that it depresses them to see folks who are older and in some cases unable to care for themselves. I was pleasantly surprised. I always come away from my visits happier than when I arrived.

Everyone there greets me with a smile when I arrive. They seem to be happy to see anyone who is willing to take time to visit them. Any apprehension I may have had in the beginning was quickly dispelled.

The thing about it is that when you take time to get to know these folks, you learn that most of them have led very interesting lives. Maybe they need a little help caring for themselves but otherwise they're pretty sharp. I like to think our music gives them a little happiness and helps them remember the good times in their lives.

Let me tell you a little about our group. We play and sing the songs of the 1940s and 1950s, along with the good old hymns. The residents remember most of the songs and know the words even when their memory may be fading. One of the ladies asked us to play "Jesus Loves Me" three times. (I think she kept forgetting we had already played it, although she may have just liked it a lot.)

Everyone likes "How Much Is That Doggie In the Window?" We usually set to howling like a hound dog when we get to an appropriate place in the song. A few of the folks howl and laugh with us. We have a lot of fun with it.

I usually ask if anyone wants us to play anything special. Once a while back, a little lady sitting in the back tentatively raised her hand and when I asked her what her song was she said, "What time are we gonna have lunch?" I broke up. I told her I didn't know it but if she could hum it, I'd try to accompany her. It broke her up, so I never found out how the song went.

Over time, we've become familiar with what different folks like to hear, so we try to play what they like. By the way, they think I play saxophone great. I write that off to a loss of hearing, which I have a little of myself.

Despite what my friends told me, it is not a depressing place. Perhaps we think it might be because we see our own lives moving in a direction over which we have little or no control. None of us relishes the thought of growing old and having to depend on some one else who will take care of our most intimate needs.

I should mention that there are many people who visit Carolina to spread cheer and give a little happiness to those who are no longer active. I can only identify with those in our little group. I need to tell you a little more about each one of them. Jane Robinson is a retired nurse. She works from time to time with hospice. She's happiest when she's helping others. Linda Uphole sings with the church choir and likes to sing the old songs.

Iris is a throwback. She plays the piano the way I imagine a saloon piano player played in the old days. I have yet to stump her on something she doesn't know. She also plays at the hospital.

When I told Jane playing at Carolina was cutting into my golf game, she replied, "Yeah, but you'll be blessed for your visits. You won't for your golf."

Truer words were never spoken.

Robey Howard is a local freelance writer.