Imagine Shakespeare's Romeo sipping a vial of Gatorade rather than poison. Toss in a duel featuring hot dog skewers. Now, sprinkle it liberally with classic iambic pentameter, and there's the gist of Sandhills Classical Christian School's first-ever drama club performance.

The young thespians perform Charlie Lovett's witty production, "Romeo and Winifred: A Tragical Comedy in Two and a Half Acts" at 7 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 15, at Sandhills PCA. Described by drama teacher Jennifer Zmiewsky as "'Romeo and Juliet' without the kissing and everyone dying," the play includes 33 performers from fourth through ninth grade.

"I definitely would not have done this so early if I didn't think they could handle it," says Zmiewsky. "The reason I went with a comedy to start is that I wanted to ease the students into Shakespeare."

The club launched at the start of the school year, and already, it has the highest participation of any club in the school. This play teaches club members about parody by allowing them to experience it firsthand.

For the audience, it promises great entertainment. A passel of narrators with classic Italian names -- like Oregano, Carpaccio, Risotto, Prosciutto, Antipasto, and Pesto -- lead the audience through the tale of two empires in modern-day New York City. There's something for everyone, with allusions to Monty Python and "Airplane." Romeo even shows up garbed in a white disco suit la "Saturday Night Fever."

Students and children are admitted free of charge. Tickets are $7 for adults.

Sandhills Classical Christian School is a non-denominational Christian school applying the Classical methodology to foster young minds to think clearly, listen carefully, reason logically, and articulate persuasively. The school offers a full curriculum for preschool through high-school aged children, including art, music, and sports activities. Latin studies are introduced beginning in third grade. SCCS incorporates a comprehensive study of the Bible throughout students' education.