Our leading line for the July limerick contest was "I decided to get a tattoo..."

Oddly enough, many of our lyricists elected to exhibit tattoos on their hindquarters. I'm sure this wasn't simply because it provided an expansive canvas on which to express their timeless themes.

Our Limerick Laureate, Derek Huston, holds true to this anatomical trend in the first of these two verses.

I decided to get a tattoo

An idea inspired by brew.

I drank myself blind

Then I bared my behind.

Say hello now to Mr. Magoo.

I decided to get a tattoo

Of just what I hadn't a clue.

Then I started to think

Of sharp needles and ink,

And then I passed out -- wouldn't you?

Derek Huston was born in Washington, D.C., and grew up in Virginia. He and his wife, Kiki, have lived in New Orleans, La., since 1990. They have three children. When Katrina hit, the family evacuated safely and were displaced for a few months. Fortunately, their home wasn't damaged by the floods.

Huston is familiar with the Sandhills from visits to his grandmother and to his parents, who now live in Pinehurst. A professional musician, he plays the tenor saxophone. Recently he performed with a band on "Good Morning America."

Derek has long been a fan of word play and took naturally to the limerick format. In fact, he hopes someday to meet "that man from Nantucket."

Kiki Huston, Derek's wife, is also a deft versifier.

I decided to get a tattoo:

The name of my sweetheart so true!

But time marches on,

The romance is gone,

The past is now faded and blue.

A menagerie adorns Bill Stevens of Daniel Island, S.C.

I decided to get a tattoo.

On my buttocks; a small kangaroo.

As the bum grew more padded,

Extra critters were added.

Now the spouse calls my keister "the zoo!"

Animals are also popular with Sandy Gerdes of Whispering Pines.

I decided to get a tattoo

Of an animal who lives in the zoo.

The giraffe didn't fit

On the place where I sit,

A hippo will just have to do.

Robert Kroll of Whispering Pines favors the performing arts.

I decided to get a tattoo.

So what that it is in full view?

When my muscle contracts

That figure reacts

And exhibits a shimmy or two.

Modesty got the best of Debbie Regula of Pinehurst.

I decided to get a tattoo,

Of a rose in a lovely pink hue.

When the artist said "Dear,

Bend and present your rear,"

Out the front door I rapidly flew!

Yet another animal lover is Georganne Austin of Southern Pines.

I decided to get a tattoo

In colors of red, white and blue,

Showing jungle-like creatures

With wild, fearsome features.

I've been asked to display at the zoo!

This cheeky verse comes from Joe Rowland of Charlotte.

I decided to get a tattoo

But your name in a heart wouldn't do.

Now I have your face

In a secretive place

So the name that I call you is true.

No butts about this from Seven Lakes' Annette Daniels.

I decided to get a tattoo.

Where you ask? Well I wouldn't tell you.

This secret graphic,

Just might stop traffic,

And cause a huge hullabaloo!

Wally Stefany of Southern Pines maintains tattoos aren't forever.

I decided to get a tattoo

Of my sweetie waving "Yoo-hoo!"

But our love, tempest-tossed,

Changed her wave to "Get Lost!"

Now my only recourse is "Undo."

Kirk and Shari Hasenmueller key on political low lights.

I decided to get a tattoo

Of Nixon and Spiro Agnew

I wouldn't have bet

It would be a regret

Not long after '72!

Ted Atwood of Seven Lakes found his tattoo sobering.

I decided to get a tattoo

After downing a zombie or two.

Friends now find it amusing

That I've quit the boozing,

But I'm staying dry...wouldn't you?

The tattoo artist left Pinehurst's Kendra McGirt behind.

I decided to get a tattoo.

Where it is, I cannot show you.

And for the same reason,

(You know I am teasin')

The artist has run away too!

Linda Rinaldi of Seven Lakes chronicles her bad-hair day.

I decided to get a tattoo

In an effort my youth to renew,

But I cancelled that day,

Worried what some might say,

I dyed my hair lime green in lieu.

The deadline for our current leading line -- This summer while soaking up sun... -- is midnight tonight. Results will appear on Sept. 28.

Here's the new leading line: "Reality shows? How 'bout this..." Can you think of a reality show that's even more foolish than current TV fare? Deadline is Sept. 30.

E-mail your verses to joelimericks@embarqmail.com. Or mail them to Limericks, The Pilot, PO Box 58, Southern Pines, NC 28388.

Joe Piper, a resident of Seven Lakes, may be reached at joelimericks@embarqmail.com.