LAURA SNYDER: Brownies: Breakfast of Champions
How many rules is a kid breaking when he has fudge nut brownies for breakfast? It's hard to count them all, since I have 10 fingers.
I baked a big batch of fudge nut brownies yesterday, and we had them for dessert last night. There were still a few left over this morning. When my children woke up and made their way to the kitchen, yawning, the first thing they saw was the brownies. Their eyes brightened, and I could see the wheels start turning: "How can we negotiate one of those brownies?"
"Mom, can we have a brownie?" they asked hopefully.
"Brownies are not breakfast," I said like a good mommy, as if my mouth wasn't watering at the sight of them. I thought to myself, "When they leave for school, I'm going to snag a nice hefty one for myself."
My daughter tried one more time. "We'll eat our breakfast right after we eat our brownies." I said no, as she knew I would. Faces falling, they shuffled to the cupboard and brought out the cereal. Same old thing: colorful fruity rings with marshmallows and chocolate-flavored sugar balls.
Wait just a minute! I read the labels, as I should have done before I bought them, and found sugar, sugar, high fructose corn syrup (whatever that is), and more stuff I couldn't pronounce. It read like a recipe for spontaneous combustion. "What do fudge nut brownies have in them?," I thought. Sugar, yes, but not as much as the cereal. Flour, certainly. Nuts have protein and fiber. Eggs, that's a great breakfast food.
And why is that? I don't know. Someone declared eggs a breakfast item, and the rest of us agreed, I suppose. It seems just that random, this categorizing of breakfast, lunch, and dinner foods, doesn't it?
Why don't we eat a salad for breakfast? Or roast beef and mashed potatoes? Or how about a nice big plate of liver and onions? Why do we eat only certain foods for breakfast and everything else is off limits? Doughnuts and muffins aren't so different from fudge nut brownies. So, why are they considered breakfast foods? It doesn't seem fair that fudge nut brownies should be blackballed from the breakfast list.
Well, so far, fudge nut brownies were beating the pants off the cereal for the "Breakfast of Champions" title. However, it doesn't do very well in the milk category. Butwhat ifwe drank a glass of milk with it?
Bingo! Here is where I sprout wings and become my children's fairy godmother. I wave my magic wand and say, "You guys can have a fudge nut brownie for breakfast if you drink a glass of milk with it." Woo-hoo, that felt good!
My nine-year-old yells, "Dad! There's an alien taking over Mom's body!"
I frown at him and say, "Okay, but if you tell your Dad I'm an alien, you're never getting brownies for breakfast again, because your mom won't allow it."
"Never mind, Dad! Just kidding. Can I have the piece in the middle?"
Okay, we have established that I have no discipline whatsoever, but these are fudge nut brownies we're talking about, after all. Manna from heaven. Ambrosia. My children and I are all devouring brownies and gulping milk when my husband comes into the kitchen.
"Fudge nut brownies for breakfast?" he questions me. "Who are you, and what have you done with my wife?"
One of my children whispers, "He knows!"
With my mouth full, I answer him, "You want your wife or a brownie?"
"That's a no-brainer", he says, pulling up a chair and helping himself to the unexpected treat. I know I should be insulted, but I'm eating fudge nut brownies. All is well in my world today.
Whispering Pines resident Laura Snyder may be reached at email@example.com, or visit her Web site www.lauraonlife.com for more columns and information about her books.
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