It's time for the quarterly limerick crowning; vote for three. The contenders are: All the original limericks published since June 1, except those I wrote.

So dig out those copies of The Pilot you kept, and send me the limerick -- or enough to recognize -- of your favorite one, or two, or three. We'll add them up and crown the favorites. E-mail them to ArtLimericks@aol.com this week.

Special thanks are due to Peg Kirkpatrick, who sent some public-domain limericks that I haven't seen in many years. They include the repetitive-sound "a canner, exceedingly canny" that I'd been looking for, and the delightful abbreviation limericks that make one stop to think. These will appear in mid-month columns.

We were honored to hear from, and receive entries from Lamont "Tommy" Thompson, the longtime editor of this limerick column. We're holding the entries for a special column.

Now to our friends, Jean and Gene.

Joan Smith starts us off with:

I once knew a young girl named Jean,

Who wanted one day to be Queen;

At the Fair, no one frowned

On the day she was crowned

"Miss Broccoli" -- all dressed in green!

Sue Joseph keeps us in stitches:

I once knew a housewife named Jean

Who bought a new sewing machine;

She sewed all her britches

In fine, tiny stitches --

Her envious friends turned pea-green!

Tom O'Brien of Wake Forest marches in with:

I once knew a warrior named Gene --

A cantankerous old-style Marine;

He fought well and hard,

From most saloons he was barred,

So Sunday services became his routine!

Francis Fitzpatrick presents:

I once knew a fellow named Jean,

A Frenchman, calm and serene --

Proud of his fine Gallic name

Like the "Valjean" of fame.

(and not a short form of "Eugene.")

Kendra McGirt brings us a working girl and a playboy:

"I once knew a gal named Jean

Whose house just had to be clean,

She scrubbed hard all day

And never did play --

Perhaps that's what made her so mean!

I once knew a surfer named Gene

He dove in a pool with chlorine --

As he surfaced, we stared

For his natural blond hair

Had been chemically altered to green!"

Larry Meyer recalls:

"I once knew a lady named Jean,

Whose complexion was peaches and cream --

Then she got a big pimple

Right on her dimple,

And Jean became peaches and scream!

John McConnell barks at us:

I once had a hound dog named Gene;

Folks thought he was vicious and mean;

He would run people down

But that lovable houn'

Only wanted to lick them "all clean!"

Jim Cammack, from Fayetteville, is a retired minister and has a pastor's heart and insight.

He loves to read and write limericks, and sent several of his originals, including this, based on a co-worker's positive attitude many years ago:

Gene's ugliness made people gape!

He pinned his ears back with Scotch tape --

When jibed 'bout his face,

He replied with great grace:

He said, "I was kissed out of shape!"

Jack Peterson has a "before and after" or two for us:

I once knew a beauty named Jean

She became our High School Prom Queen --

Lost her youthful beauty

Performing her wifely duty

Now the lovely mother of 13!

I once knew a tough guy named Gene,

Stringbean lean and twice as mean

Met his match in a gal named Tillie

Who on a whim could knock him silly!

They're the most perfect couple I've ever seen!

Joe Piper overcame computer problems to forward these:

I once knew a lady named Jean

Who drank vast amounts of caffeine;

When she stayed awake

For five days by mistake,

Starbucks crowned her the Great Coffee Queen!

I once knew a parrot named Gene

Whose language was mostly obscene;

When ladies would pass,

He'd yell something crass.

Stuffed and mounted, his mouth is pristine!

Larry Meyer sets the tone for next month's contest:

"I once knew a golfer named Gene;

Said he: "I'm a golfing machine!"

But 'twas easy to see

No Gene Littler was he --

When his shots just kept missing the green!

And the winner is: a large tie again, so we're going to use a secret tiebreaker. (You folks are not only good, you're getting better!)

The two winners are: by order of appearance -- "Fine, Tiny Stitches," Sue Joseph, and "Peaches and Scream," Larry Meyer. Everyone else tied for second!

Golf -- the justification for Delta's flights to the local airport; a mainstay of the local economy; a way to get your husband (or wife) out of the house; a course in self-discipline you never finish; a healthy addiction (exercise) -- and the subject of the September limericks.

Your original limerick must be about golf -- your best game, or best shot; your favorite course, and why; the best shot you saw a pro make -- or miss; your favorite club or putter; the dynamics in your foursome; or what your spouse says about golf.

Your first line: "Ah, golf! My favorite ___ ___ ___ -- or, "Ah, golf! The best ____ ____ ______.

So putt your entries up Pennsylvania Avenue to The Pilot, or tee up and fly 'em to ArtLimericks@aol.com.

Art Dersch, a Whispering Pines resident, may be reached at ArtLimericks@aol.com.